Can you remember the first time someone called you the “B” word? I know it probably hurt and the memory may be quite vivid.
I can remember…and it was in 6th grade. Yes, I was only 11. So, although I can’t remember the boy’s name, I remember his statement to me and the class: “You are such a sarcastic Bitch.” Wait, this is the funny part: I had to ask my teacher at the time, Mr. Zimmerman, what “sarcastic” meant. Heck I already knew what Bitch meant … that I was a female dog! Once I understood what the word “sarcastic” meant, then I was offended!
Now, I’m much older than 11 and I have been called a bitch, well, let’s just say…more than once. It used to sting badly and I would often try to change who I was being so that no one would ever call me that word again. That was in my 20’s. I’m over that now! Call me what you want…it doesn’t make it so!
Now, why would someone use such a word as a label? Honesty first: I have used it – many times – that’s why I have such an easy time understanding the WHY. I’m not proud and am making a commitment to only use it to describe myself going forward (see below).
Anyway…I have found that it is used mostly when someone is upset, angry, or unwilling to accept the outcome of a situation or conversation. It is generally said in anger and the intent is generally to hurt, to shut down, to disempower.
Who is defined as a Bitch? Obviously it is used in a multitude of ways to describe various traits in women, but it has always been a derogatory statement. In my experience – in business, it is used to describe very strong females who are working towards an outcome that requires clarity, focus, and unyielding execution.
Out in the world, it is used because you didn’t behave exactly as expected or desired – or, were perceived as just not nice.
In fact, the B word is a sword used to maim, to hurt, to harm, to judge, to disrespect, etc. Add your adverbs here ________
So, what is the truth about the B Word? The truth is that “Bitch” is just (as in only) a Word. Nothing more, nothing less. And, words cannot hurt you, unless you give them meaning or power.
Bitch is used, every day – by women, men, girls, and boys. It is often used by girls against girls. It is always used to disempower. It is always used in judgement of another (although it says much more about the person who uses it). But, there is good news…read on!
As I’ve matured I’ve realized that some of my behaviors (which brought out being labeled the “B” word by others) were unacceptable – to me and to the world. Those behaviors, beliefs, attitudes have had to change because of who I wanted to BE in this world – not because someone called me a bitch, although, maybe it started that way.
I’m so very human and imperfect … AND am always willing to look in the mirror to effect change for me, within me.
The one thing I know FOR SURE – the TRUTH – is that I am NOT what someone “labels” me.
I know I have a choice in how I see the world and in how I show up in the world. Today, when someone calls me a bitch, a female dog, I thank them. Why?
Because this is how I define bitch:
Bright ∎ Intuitive ∎Thankful ∎ Courageous ∎ Happy
And the truth is…Bitch …is… just… a… word. Redefine it for yourself today!
Let’s all use our words more consciously – to empower … not to destroy
Tell us your story and tell us what type of B.I.T.C.H you are!